What's the point?

I was watching the chaos outside the car but look what came into crisp focus.

Why is the first question most of us learned.  It was probably in our vocabularies from at least age 2.  It is VERY important to us to know why things are happening.  It always has been and always will be a big deal for me to figure out "why."  When I don't know the reason behind what is happening to me, I can become very unsettled.  We need to believe there IS a reason or it wrecks us.  Am I right?

It is not enough to believe "everything happens for a purpose", that every life lost had a purpose and everyone alive has a purpose.  We must find out what the purpose IS and attempt to fulfill it.  Or in the case of a lost life, what it was and seek to honor it.  Other wise...what is the point?  I suppose it is better to believe that everything has a purpose than to be hopeless and think everything is random and that nothing matters, but I want more than just that, don't you?

When going through a hard time, we have all had some one tell us, or have told ourselves; "everything happens for a reason."  Our heart responds "I know that.  I agree with that statement and believe it is true, BUT WHAT IS the reason?  Why does THIS have to be what is happening to me right now?"  So it is not that we don't believe the saying is true. 

BELIEVE

We can endure most things if we understand why they are happening.  What about when we can't figure out the reason. Then we say "comforting" things like "what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger" ok...? that's my reason?  that generic, "it's making me stronger" is the only bone I am thrown?   
Not good enough, I say.  My heart will not settle for that. 

Here's what I have found out.  If I really want to know my particular reason, I have to be willing to search it out and not skim along the surface of the pain.  I can't be squirming and clenching my fists the entire time and just endure it.  My heart can't be shouting "alright already just tell me what lesson I am supposed to be learning so I can get this pain over with!"  That, will get me nowhere.  [yes, that was the voice of experience talking] Most likely it will put me back in a loop until I've learned the aforementioned lesson.  Here's an interesting point though, [and this will really kill all you fellow nerds who just LOVE getting the right answer and doing well on the test] IT'S NOT about THE LESSON.  It's not something you can cross off your emotional or spiritual checklist and say "good for me I passed that test" that has never been the point.  If you are a pretty good test-taker and wish you could live life like you lived highschool, I'm sorry to burst your bubble.

Well, not that sorry.  The truth is we need to learn this together you and I.