bye bye, Mamma...

Okay today was a great day. It was just as it should have been. Sad and hard and beautiful and powerful and lovely and sweet and emotional.  How else could the last time you will ever see your biological family be?  Well, we woke with anticipation becuase they knew before bed that they were going to see their guardians.  We were picked up at 9:30 by Alex who had driven us once before.  The boys and I headed out for a big day.  It was a wonderful, beautiful day.  Our driver was very skilled at finding all the back roads with no or little traffic!  We arrived in Mukono at Elizabeth's house. Hayden was excited and Garak was nervous.  I hugged and greeted Elizabeth and Elize (her husband).  THe boys were curious, nervous etc.  Garak would NOT greet either of them.  He was growing more and more upset by the minute.  We waited about 10-15 mins til Garak's gramma arrived and he didn't want to greet her but did gingerly and then went outside.  Johnny greeted her and asked where his Momma was.  A few minutes later she arrived. I thought they would have taken a boda boda but I found out that they walked! with both babies! Garak's "Mommy" came too.  She is the one from the first day (Easter) photo of them waving goodbye to us.  Garak would not greet any of them. He would not look at them. He started sucking on his shirt, hiding his face and wimpering etc.  I picked him up and explained that he was going back home with me and not to worry and just have a nice time with his family, but he could not bring himself to do so.  I sat him with Elizabeth and she explained the same thing but he was beside himself with fear and dread of being left behind again and was not thinking rationally.  I set him on his gramma's lap and he just started to sob pathetically.  I scooped him up and he clung to me in a death grip buried his head in my chest and sobbed.

Hayden, on the other hand, was SO glad to see his family!  He had the opposite reaction.  He enjoyed every minute with his auntie and baby cousins.  He sobbed when we said it was time to say goodbye.  Just before we left, Garak's gramma wanted to pray for the boys and I so we all sat and she started to sing a beautiful Hallelujah.  She got a bit choked up and all the other ladies joined in. I joined in as well after hearing the tune a few times, choking back tears. After the warm up worship she broke into a very emotional and heartfelt prayer for the boys lives and futures in Luganda which I barely could make out but I kept peeking at Jamilla (Hayden's auntie) and she was quietly sobbing and wiping her eyes with the baby's blanket.  Then Elizabeth prayed in English a beautiful moving prayer over the boys and our whole family and the travel etc.  It was so sweet.  I cried a little. We all hugged with the sound of Hayden sobbing as our parting music. They thanked us so much and we all got into the van to leave the compound.  As we exited the lane, the guardians all got out of the van and Hayden lost it completely. He came completely unglued.  Luckily for me the driver strong armed him back into the van and shut the door so he couldn't run out after them.  After less than 10 minutes of screaming and wailing he was fine and wanted me to hold him and we were back to normal.  Hard. sad. done.