This was writtn months ago and I am not sure why I never published it but it is a cute story.
Hayden is an inquisitive thinker and his ability to think things through is quite impressive to me. I enjoy our conversations as he figures out why things are the way they are.
Here is one especially endearing example:
I was giving them their snack before I send them down for their Sunday School class
the pastor was walking past us and Hayden asked,
"what to do in your class up here? What will you teacher say to do?"
I answered that God tells our teacher what to say and we learn what God wants us to do. I gave a few examples like "to be nice friends" and "do good listening"
I added that sometimes even big people who know what to do right still do bad things and just do what we like to do even if it isn't a good idea.
Hayden was thinking about what happens to him when he does NOT do good things and asked
"God tells you to make us sit down w/the peep peep (timer). What do YOU have to do? Because you don't sit down for time out."
GREAT question! I told him that even though we don't have to sit down for a timeout, sometimes we don't get good things because we have bad ideas and do just what we like to do. Sometimes sad things come and we can't have any fun.
The next day he says at breakfast:
I had a dream about daddy and God
Daddy wasn't going good listening and God told Daddy
to sit down with da peep peep. LOVE THIS KID!!!!
Yesterday I posted this on fb: so this is what contentment feels like *big exhale* :). My friend, Kait, a fellow adoptive mom from Uganda asked me:Do
you ever find yourself looking at your husband and boys and thinking
"Lord, I know I could never do anything to deserve such blessings but
thank you for this anyway"?. Yes Kait ,
I do feel that way. I also feel a settled, deep calm as if I don't
need to search for the next big thing or what I'm going to do with my
life "when I grow up." I'm realizing that this is a very new feeling
and how much that I LOVE it.
I have just realized how truly settled and content and peaceful I have been feeling lately. I am by nature a truly type-A planner/schemer/dreamer living days weeks months years into the future in my mind to get it rightplan it out know what to say or do and how I will face every possible scenario in my life. I've also been know to be a what-if-this-isn't-what-I'm-really-supposed-to-be-doing-with-my-life-and I'm-*gasp*missing-something person. [those who know me are nodding right now] It has been so long since I have felt any of those things that I really can't remember my last anxiety filled sleepless night or so-distracted-that-I'm-present-in-body-only week. That is no small thing, my friends. No.small.thing. 34 years I have lived that way. Briefly I think the reason for this is 2-fold. 1. Spending time the in 3rd world. I mean once you've done that you are ashamed to worry about your little things. period. and 2. Being handed the awesome responsibility of the lives and well-being of 2 little boys who were hand-picked by God out of all that poverty and despair to live in my house and live under my influence. [I'm sure having a baby come out of your body and raising it is a very sobering experience too.] I guess there is just something about that fact that this BRIMER PARTY OF 4 was matched up from 1,000's of miles away to be each other's family... well I don't have the words. Simply put I am NOT searching for a sense of purpose. Ironically the message today at church was about staying warm and safe in a place where religion can insulate us from real life and inoculate us from really knowing God. A message against contentment! And just when I felt so relieved at having found it! We were challenged to embrace adventure. [btw it was great sermon, very inspiring and on another level of spiritual -not physical/emotional- stuff I was very challenged by it] Some of this could be semantics, I realize.
However life is NOT static or still (especially w/2 4 yr olds) and I honestly believe that seasons come and go on the journey. We have recently come out of a season of true world-traveling adventure. We are in a season of rest and rooting. We are doing all the things plants do underground during the winter. Resting. Waiting. Anticipating. Becoming. Multiplying for the next flashy-on-display season. Growing on the inside. Our current season IS an adventure even though it may not be noteworthy or incredibly interesting to anyone but us. May I also say that; parenting AT ALL is a journey, yes an adventurous one, these 2 Brimers never thought we'd embark on. While I can't say where we'll be next week, today I will declare that: Parenting+Contentment is a big deal.
Ever have a moment that leaves you feeling
like you must be doing SOME things right as a parent? So at breakfast
we are listening to a CD of a Ugandan children's choir that the boys
LOVE and they asked me what the song was about. They were
singing about God's grace so I told the boys the song was about "how
God loves us even when we are naughty so many times and just do what we
like, even then He loves us just the same much." I could hardly get the
words out w/o getting a little choked up as I said them because it is
just too amazing when you realize the truth of that statement. THE BEST
part though was Hayden's quick response, "just like you and daddy still
love us when we are naughty!" *misty-eyed momma* What more do you need them to know at this age? LOVE IT!!!!
Yesterday I said somethings about having my 2 babies and Hayden protested "no only 1 baby, because I am 4." I told him that daddy was still Gramma Brimer's baby even though he's all the way big and that he will still be my baby even when he is all the way big.
Out of the blue a few days ago Garak came up to me and declared as if he had it all thought out, "God has the biggest hands. Even if you are far far away from Him, He can still reach you!" I was moved by his observation and told him to go tell daddy what he had just said. He went into the room where daddy was and emphatically delivered his message gesturing with his hand like a seasoned African preacher would. He often gestures like that when he sings as well. His Ugandan Jaja would be so proud to know he is following in her footsteps. Another keen observation from Hayden: he was asking about shooting a gun to kill a deer when he gets bigger. I told him that you have to go to school to learn how to be really safe with a gun and if you don't do a great job and good listening at that class you can't have a card that says you are allowed to have gun. He thought for a few moments and then declared "at that school they tell you" while wagging his finger like an instructor scolding a student, "don't shoot yourself with a gun or you will be dead!"