to infinity and beyond

activate the emotion chip

Norman and I have noticed something lovely in the past several days.  Our already delightful children have taken their sweetness to a whole new level.  I'm not saying that we enjoy the manner in which they express every one of their emotions, but I am saying something very significant in our family's development is happening.

Think about yourself for a minute and when you express yourself emotionally.  It is either when you are alone or when you are with someone who feels really safe to you.  With that person you know it is okay to fall apart, act on the ugly that you feel inside or love with abandon because you are confident that you won't we rejected for your outburst.  Love casts out fear.

Lately our boys have been much more expressive with their dislike for things resorting to tears more often than in the past.  Yes, this is a positive thing.  The payoff is that they are loving with heartfelt abandon.  Garak especially has been clingy when I leave for work and grabbing my leg when he meets new people instead of his former "every person I meet is my best friend" style.  The best part is that they just want to be held for long soft cuddles by both parents.  There's also a lot of verbalizing (my favorite part of course as the language teacher).  They'll just stop whenever they are doing as if the thought just occurred to them, get up and run to me with arms up and exclaim, "Mommy, I love you SOOOOOOO much and I needa hug you!"  Norman has been reporting the same phenomenon. They LOVE their daddy so much too! [what's not to love?]  Very often they will tell me about what they did with daddy while I was at work and end the story with, "because our daddy is SUCH a nice boy!"

"big as a house"

If you haven't read this book, you will want to.  Long before I knew about my boys, I would tear up reading it.

There are several similar attempts to become something that Momma Bunny can't find

so he gives up and decides to stay a little bunny after all

Yesterday at breakfast Hayden was talking about his favorite subject; himself getting bigger and bigger.  He settled on being big as a house.  Then he puffed out his chest and his cheeks and closed his eyes.  I asked, "Are you a house?"  In a deep voice he replied, "Yes and I don't have any eyes and mouth," squeezing his eyes more tightly shut.  Very distraught I responded to the news, "I don't have any more baby Hayden!    You can't live in our house anymore if you ARE a house.  You won't fit in your bed."  He was very pleased with himself that I was joining in his pretend play and sat up even straighter holding the "house pose".  At this point I started to fake cry, "Waaaaa! I can't have any more snuggles and cuddles from my baby Hayden.  Waaaaa!"  Upon hearing this emotional outburst Hayden dropped the house pose and cocked his little head way to one side with a gentle grin and said in a tone one would use to calm and upset child, "Okay I will no be house only be you big boy Hayden again."  I stopped my pretend crying and grinned with my melted heart and almost cried for real at how sweet my boy is to me.  LOVE that child!  Then we had a very nice big boy and mommy cuddle right there over our porridge.
He will be "big as a house" soon enough.

It's tomorrow! It happened!

it all seemed so far away not long ago. so hard to see in the distance

Near the end of GROUNDHOG DAY when the spell is finally broken, Phil exclaims in shock and disbelief, "It's tomorrow!  It happened!"  [If you haven't seen the movie, WHY NOT!?] I can relate to him in that way because a year ago this felt impossible. I couldn't really picture ever getting to this point in the journey but it is happening...soon!

On June 12th Norm and the boys and I need to show up at the probate court.  We don't need to do anything else hard.  We don't need to walk for hours in the sun to track down some essential but here-to-fore-non-existent document.  There won't be any delays.  The judge won't just blow us off.  She will show up with all the paperwork we need to have that day in hand.  We will walk out of the court as legal parents to our boys and have U.S. birth certificates for them. Does that seem surreal to anyone else?

nothing left to do but rejoice! can that be true??

 

Now faith is the SUBSTANCE of things hoped for and the EVIDENCE of things not seen.

I almost almost love you

Garak's new thing is to be "almost almost" ready or "almost almost" finished w/things. So today he comes and gives me a big hug and declares wholeheartedly, "Mommy, I almost almost love you!" He said the same thing to Glama Brlimer at dinner tonight!  Also at dinner he hugged gramma's hand to one side of his face and my hand to the other side and asserted, "I love eeeeverybody at my house!"

Also after a particularly dramatic (on Hayden's part only) time out today, Garak welcomed Hayden back into good standing by asking enthusiastically, "Are you ready to be nice boy? okay COME! play w/me!"

So today we are driving along and I see a woodchuck walking near the side of the road and so I ask the boys, "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and Hayden immediately pretends that he sees a turkey out the window and {in the same rhythm as the woodchuck tongue-twister} says "turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey!" soooo funny!  I love how he plays with language! he is so verbal and "gets" a lot of jokes and funny things.  btw he had never heard that tongue twister before to my knowledge.

brothers found

 a little crocy-dia-ow drlinking Chai. yum!

ROARRRR! SNAP SNAP! (captioning for this photo)

Yesterday the boys went to Children's Church and Garak reported at lunch that "shumbody was mean to my bruh-jer and maked him feeel chad an' 'fraid!"  [now this was said in the most dramatic tone he could muster with facial expressions to match]  He was very distracted by the event and kept talking about it.  Instead of his usual exhaustive before meal prayer about everything he has in his line of sight, he prayed, " Tanty You Jezuch dat shumbody was mean to my bruh-jer and maked him feeel chad an' 'fraid!" It was at that moment that Hayden realized that he was Garak's brother.  Garak was praying for him!  He already knew that Garak was his brother.  He tends to be quite protective of him, in fact.  There was a definite difference in Hayden's mind though when Garak demonstrated concern and took a protective stand about him and his feelings.  He was Garak's brother.  {it's that feeling you get when you know that the person you feel that way about feels that way about you too!} It was very sweet.  He started grinning and questioned Garak, "you bruh-jer? are you say, you bruh-jer?  Garak?  Hayden is you bruh-jer?"  As the realization washed over his face that we WAS indeed Garak's brother not just in word but in action [that Garak cared about him and had his back] he joyfully declared, "I am Garak's bruh-jer.  Garak ijy my bruh-jer!"  He repeated the phrases all though the meal and seemed happier each time he said them.

kidisms

A few sweet things to share are below:

Beautiful Katie at Fort Knox

This morning I was getting ready while the boys read books in the hallway.  I was standing in the hallway but looking at my self in the large mirror that hangs in our bedroom.  Hayden questioned what I was doing and I replied that "I am looking in the mirror to see if I look good."  His reply, "Oh. okay.  Yes, you do look good."  Angel boy!

Joel-6  Meredeth-5  Garak-3  Hayden-3.5

Today we went to Fort Knox (no, not where they keep the gold).  It is a huge colonial fort that never was used in a war so it is very well preserved and a great place for climbing etc.  We had quite an adventure climbing and discovering storage rooms and passages [where Hayden and his cousin Joel got quite a scare when someone unexpectedly answered their echo calls into one of the dark tunnels!] and catching views of the ocean.  Hayden and Garak and I rounded one corner and Hayden exclaimed, "Woah this is CHO big!  This is what God made [just] like [how He made] the yellow one (referring to the sun)"



When they walk on the wooden floor w/just socks on, they will say, "this floor is so sleddy"  sometimes they pretend to be the Bruins. very cute to watch.

Today at lunch Hayden was pushing out his belly as far as he could and said, "my belly is cho big!"  My reply,  "then I guess you don't need anymore food."  His immediate response as he sat back to normal size in his chair was, "my belly is so small."

running along the top of a wall Garak on the left

There is a horse who lives down the street.  He came running up to our car (as close as he could through the fence) as we returned home today to greet us and so we rolled down the windows.  He blew at us a few times like horses do and Hayden said "da horn-see made a noise like a motocah!"

When eating hard boiled eggs.  "I see you baby egg."  they both say to the yoke.

View from top of fort w/Bucksport in back.

And my personal favorite --The Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door this AM and rang the door bell.  I was still getting ready to go.  We were in the upstairs hall and we could see them but they weren't really looking in to the house so they didn't see us.  Both boys were looking down at them through the railing and Hayden said, "Those are NOT our friends!"  I agreed, "No they are not" and Hayden said, "They can't come in."  I ignored the doorbell on his recommendation.