A friend of mine told me how cute her children were being during the first week on January this year. They kept celebrating every FIRST as it happened. For example: this is the first hug I gave you in 2011, this in the first banana I ate in 2011 etc. It was pretty cute. Well I feel a bit like that since my return to my "real life" here in the USA.
Yesterday was the first time I was alone driving myself in 2 months. [I had been alone a few times last month but only to take a motorcycle taxi into downtown Kampala] Today was the first time I pumped gas in at least as long. I went to Hannaford's (grocery store) today by myself and realized that I was in America. I know that sounds odd, but I don't know how else to express it. I guess when I have the boys with me I am still in Uganda in some way. Does that make sense? They are with me and their presence feels familiar like home and it is as if I am still there. [there's song called "you are my home" from the broadway musical The Scarlet Pimpernel that fits really well in this train of thought] A little piece of me hasn't moved back here yet. I hope that they feel the same way because their brother feels familiar and I have kept as much the same as I could upon returning here. There are little moments when I feel like my old/former/real/recognizable self and I am suddenly aware of how long it has been since I felt like her. If it is this odd for me to realize that after 2 full weeks I am still not all the way home...imagine how they feel.
They are so remarkable you know? I mean angelic wonderful children. The kind others are jealous of, in fact. They listen and obey and enjoy almost everything we do all day. They cry if I don't let them help clean up and they fight over who gets to help the most. How could I have ever deserved this life? I don't deserve it. It isn't possible. I mean this morning they slept til 7am and when Hayden came in our room Norman got up and played with the boys and got them dressed. Once I was up Norman when down and made us French toast while the boys and I played. I mean picture perfect beautiful days we are having over here... *sigh* I am in love with them quite simply.
Yesterday was the first time I was alone driving myself in 2 months. [I had been alone a few times last month but only to take a motorcycle taxi into downtown Kampala] Today was the first time I pumped gas in at least as long. I went to Hannaford's (grocery store) today by myself and realized that I was in America. I know that sounds odd, but I don't know how else to express it. I guess when I have the boys with me I am still in Uganda in some way. Does that make sense? They are with me and their presence feels familiar like home and it is as if I am still there. [there's song called "you are my home" from the broadway musical The Scarlet Pimpernel that fits really well in this train of thought] A little piece of me hasn't moved back here yet. I hope that they feel the same way because their brother feels familiar and I have kept as much the same as I could upon returning here. There are little moments when I feel like my old/former/real/recognizable self and I am suddenly aware of how long it has been since I felt like her. If it is this odd for me to realize that after 2 full weeks I am still not all the way home...imagine how they feel.
They are so remarkable you know? I mean angelic wonderful children. The kind others are jealous of, in fact. They listen and obey and enjoy almost everything we do all day. They cry if I don't let them help clean up and they fight over who gets to help the most. How could I have ever deserved this life? I don't deserve it. It isn't possible. I mean this morning they slept til 7am and when Hayden came in our room Norman got up and played with the boys and got them dressed. Once I was up Norman when down and made us French toast while the boys and I played. I mean picture perfect beautiful days we are having over here... *sigh* I am in love with them quite simply.
sniff...
ReplyDeleteGotta love their daddy! You are so wonderful to share these heartfelt joys. Your world seems pretty wonderful at present. I can not hold in my excitement that on Friday I will be in your presence. I love to hear the boys say anything. I love to see you interact with them. I love hearing friends say good morning Grandma. Life is so good!.
ReplyDelete