Thank you all for praying for our sweet baby Johnny. His poor little tattered heart nearly broke mine today as I watched him watching the Mamma he has know for the past 3ish years on a video clip on the laptop. He completely changed from the goofy carefree funny happy baby to withdrawn with his fingers in his little mouth and big warm tears running down his sweet face. It was as if he had briefly forgotten about her and that house and was being snapped back into reality. At first he just pointed to her and then he asked where she was and then came the tears as he realized that he didn't know where she was. One of the staff here helped me by telling him that we would see her tomorrow and that after that he would come back here with Benny and I and stay with us. He had a good loud cry and it was all I could do not to join him. He kept wanting to watch it over and over so finally I had to turn off the laptop. He kept pressing the buttons trying to figure out how he could see her again. poor sweet baby's tender heart. Of course he can't understand what is happening and he was fine just a few minutes later and never mentioned her again all day. They say that children have no past and no future. They know only the present. But as was said to me earlier, the emotions Johnny expressed today were there under the surface even if he hadn't shown evidence of it and my letting them well up and spill over today instead of tomorrow most likely helped him and all of us.
this thought is on my heart from a blog I follow written by an adoptive mother:
http://www.steadymom.com/2011/01/adoption-a-beautiful-broken-system.html
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